A Story without an End - Part 3 (the finale)

Visiting Hong Kong was a little out of blue. My company asked me to go to Hong Kong to do some research. I was very excited. I could be there for about ten days. He had expressed his interest in seeing me if one day I would visit Hong Kong.

I called him immediately.

Eric sounded very happy when he heard the news. I planned my trip to arrive on a Saturday morning. He said he would meet with me that afternoon.

Upon my arrival, I gave him a call. He said he couldn’t come to meet with me that day because he would have to go hiking with a few friends. He said he would meet with me the next day. Although I was disappointed but had to let him go. However, I wondered why he did not make the time for me as he knew my schedule.

The next morning I was waiting in my room for his call. He called around 11:00 and said he  was tied up and could not come to see me that day either. I forgot whether I sounded desperate but I was very frustrated. Another call, another promise, but I still had not got a chance to see him. This was a trip I planned for weeks. All the excitement had been built for this moment and suddenly I felt the purpose of the entire trip diminished. He said he would find some time to meet in the following days.

I had not been sleeping well since I arrived. I felt sad not able to see him. It’s not just about the sexual urge, but felt deeply hurt by someone I loved. For the following days, each day I had a few meetings with HK colleagues, but I felt I was not me. I could not concentrate on my work. I thought of him almost all the time. I made calls to him to see he would be able to meet. It was one disappointment after another. 

One night I called his home number, a man answered but it’s not him. I knew he had a maid but I did not know he had a man in his house. That was odd. He was not home. Later I did not ask who that man was but I was suspicious if he had a partner there. 

On Thursday afternoon, I made another call to his office. Again he said he could not meet me that night. I started questioning why he treated me that way. He said that our meeting was supposed to be very casual. I was really, really hurt. The past two years of casual encounters were more than casual. It was something so meaningful to me in the my lonely life in Taipei. Meeting him was like an oasis in the desert, little did I know it was merely a mirage.

That night I stepped out my room. I was very sad but at least it was the first night I felt free to go out instead of waiting for his calls in my room. 

I wandered on streets in the busy Causeway Bay area, occasionally going into different department stores. My mind was occupied by the thoughts about him. I still couldn’t figure out why he treated me like a piece of trash. 

I forgot how long I walked aimlessly on the street. Then I entered one of the department stores. Wandering floor by floor, I walked into the men’s socks area. Not long after, there I spotted a Western man in his 40’s, bearded, decent looking, not too far from where I was. Just like animal instinct, I moved slowly toward him, pretentiously like wandering around without a purpose. 

He was checking the price tags. I did too.

“Things are very expensive here,” I started the conversation.

“Yes, very much so,” he replied. 

We exchanged names and greetings.

“Are you here for business or sight-seeing?” I asked.

“For business, I will be here for a few more days.”

“I have been here for almost a week and I am going back to Taipei this coming Sunday.”

“I am from Zürich.”

“With colleagues?”

“No, just by myself.”

“Me too.”

“Do you have time for a drink?” I asked further.

“Sure, that would be great. It’s been business dinners everyday since I arrived. Not really having some time for pleasure.”

We walked out the department store trying to find a place for a drink but it was crowded everywhere. We chatted about where we stayed and our businesses along the way.

I said, “Do you mind coming to my room for the drink? It might be easier that way.”

“Where do you stay?” He sounded reluctantly.

“The Park Lane, just around the corner.” 

He nodded, “not too far.”

Not long afterwards we were in my room. I was a little nervous. On one side, I was eager to have an intimate contact with this guy. On the other side, I was still quite hurtful from Eric. 

Our chairs were nighty degree positioned. Our legs touched each other occasionally and loosely. It could be flirting, or it could be simply because there was not much space for our legs.

“Are you married?” I asked.

“No, never been interested in marriage.”

I forgot how I continued my probing but I did ask my typical qualifying question: “How do you find someone to have sex?”

“Maybe just like what you do.”

We both laughed. Our legs leaned against each other tighter, and at that moment, I knew I had caught a big fish. (or I had hit a jackpot.)

He quickly rubbed my upper leg and we exchanged a understanding smile. I said I would like to take a shower and he said he would like to join me.

The hot water was spreading all over our bodies. We kissed eagerly. He had a hairy body, slightly chubby or juicy type. My sadness and sorrow were gone. At this moment, all I had in my mind was my desire. Our kisses were long. We could feel the aroused manhood but we did not touch them with our hands. We rubbed our bodies against each other. We both held each other tightly. Something I longed for would not be let go easily. 

With some soap on his manhood, I put it in between my legs then moved back and forth. I liked to feel it between my legs. He moaned.

He gradually lowered his head to kiss my neck, my nipples, gently and thoroughly. I was so turned on. Then he used his nose to play with my manhood and licked my balls. I caressed his head thankfully. He not only took away my week-long sadness away, but also fulfilled my sexual desire so nicely. I bent down to rub his back when he was sucking my manhood. Then we both lied down on the tub. We continued kissing each other like lovers. I loved his butt, rounded with meat.

The tub was, after all, a little tight even for two passionate bodies intertwined together. We dried ourselves and moved to the bedroom. 

We lied on our sides with one of my legs arched. His hand touched my thigh gently and eventually the perineum. I kissed him passionately to show my gratification. He seemed to know my needs very well. I started doing the same thing to him and I could see how he enjoyed it too. 

I kissed his butt, the balls, then my mouth took in his manhood. He took mine too. It felt so good to give and receive at the same time. Without words, we communicated our passion and something I couldn’t quite know what it was, but there was something in it.

We changed a few more positions and we ended up erupting in each other’s mouth, around the same time. That made it even more special.

After the excitement, we sat on the chairs to talk further. I told him about my drama with Eric. He was a good listener, not opinionated, but offered some feedback from time to time. 

After talking with him, my anxiety, sorrow, and whatever bad emotion I might have disappeared. The sexual healing helped. But I knew it was more because I finally was able to share my story.

That night was the first night I slept well since my arrival in Hong Kong. And from that night, somehow Zürich registered a place in my mind map, or my men map.

We exchanged a few letters afterwards then we lost contact. 

As to Eric, I never heard from him after that call on Thursday. I still thought of him from time to time, but never got the courage to contact him. Years later, searching someone on the Internet became easier than in early 1990’s. One day I found him working for a California winery. For a moment, I had that temptation to contact him, but I did not initiate that contact. 

Sometimes I wondered why I had that temptation to contact him. Was it as simple as saying hi to an old friend? Or was I looking for a closure? To me it seemed a story without an end. Or did the story end in that Hong Kong trip without my willingness to admit?

A Story without an End - Part 2

When approaching the hotel, I felt I would need to use a washroom. We went to his room. After using the washroom, I stepped out the bathroom and saw him watching a TV program. He didn’t seem prepared to go. He sat comfortably on one chair. I sat on the empty one. We exchanged a few words while watching the TV. 

I felt a sexual urge for him again. Not knowing how to approach him, I asked:

“Would you like to go to have a massage?”

“Who would give it?” He questioned in an eager tone as he turned his head toward me.

“Those massage parlors on the street,” I replied.

He looked relieved, with a hint of smile. 

“How much?” he asked.

“Around $3,000 NT.” I answered.

“Save the money.” He sort of disapproved my idea.

We sat there for another minute or two without exchanging a word. My mind was puzzled and I did not know what I was thinking. Words erupted from my mouth:

“Do you believe that two men can give each other a massage without having sex?” I was surprised that I had made that long statement without any interruption and hesitation.

“Sure, why don’t we do it now?” His eyes brightened and he seemed very pleased with the idea.

He stood up. I followed. We started to unbutton our shirts.

I asked: “Do you mind if I take off all my clothes?”

He jokingly replied” “You have to.”

I was nervous, and I felt my body trembling. Very soon I took off all my clothes, lying on the bed facing down. I could hear that he was still undressing himself. I turned my eyes to look at him. He just took off his underwear, and was about to take off his underpants. He was really good looking. My heart was pumping. 

The bed was so comfortable and it smelled good. After the hot spring bath, I hadn’t sweated at all and I felt very clean. I very much enjoyed the moment.

He now was naked and came to the bed next to me. I buried my head in the pillows. His hands touched my back. I was trembling. He did not say a word, just rubbing my back gently. I extended my hand and stopped when I touched his leg. He continued rubbing my back and gradually my lower back. The emotion was intense. I started moving my hand around to feel him. He lowered his hands to caress my butt. It was so sensual that I could not recall the last time I had such an experience.

I raised my upper half and turned my head to look at him. He looked at me too. His manhood was totally aroused. The light was on. I could see clearly how beautiful his body was, moderately hairy and excellent body shape. It felt different now as opposed to earlier today in the hot springs. Perhaps it was something in the air - romantic and sexual at the same time. 

I turned around, lying on bed looking at him. He lowered his body on top of me. He rubbed his manhood against my abs. I held him tightly. This was the moment I had been dreaming for more than a week. He then inserted his manhood in between my legs next to my balls. It was dry. We did not put any lubricant but he didn’t seem to mind. He was in and out vigorously. He moaned, louder and louder. I was wondering whether people in the hallway would hear his moaning. It didn’t take long that we both reached climax.  

Neither of us explored what we had been thinking in the past week. Why hadn’t we moved forward faster. We could have lost the opportunity of this intimate moment.

We did not meet again before he went back to Hong Kong two days later. I did not know his phone number there. He said he would call me if he would come to Taipei one day.

Time passed by. I thought of him from time to time. After a few months, I stopped hoping, but deep inside, I knew I was longing for being with him again.

* * *

One day as I was working on a proposal, my desk phone rang. I picked it up. 

“Is that Robert?” It’s him. I still remembered his voice.

“Yes it is. Is it Eric?” I asked, to be sure.

“Hi, how are you?”

“I am fine. How are you?”

“Listen. I am arriving Taipei this afternoon. I would like to see you tonight if you are available.

“Sure,” I answered without hesitation.

“May I see you around 9 at Hyatt?”

“Sure, I will be there.”

The rest of the work day seemed so delightful. In the meantime, I tried not to show my cheerfulness so that colleagues would not detect what was going on.

* * *

Ten to nine in the evening, I arrived at the Hyatt’s lobby. I wandered around and at 9:00, I used the house phone to call his room. No one answered. Perhaps he was not back yet, I thought. I sat on a couch facing the main entrance. Whenever there came a limo or a taxi, I looked to see if it was him. 

Minute after minute, there was still no sight of him. I called his room again and again without success. One hour passed, I wondered whether I should leave or not. Each time, I gave myself ten more minutes. I told myself if he did not show up in ten minutes, I would go. Each time as time was up, I gave myself another ten minutes.

By eleven, I was exhausted, mentally. I decided to go. Walked a few steps, I turned my head around, hoping to see him coming in.  Then I gave myself a final ten minutes. 

The final ten minutes passed. I felt I really needed to go. I stood up preparing to leave, then I saw him walking into the lobby. He looked tired. 

“Sorry for being so late. I was tied up with my colleagues, and I couldn’t leave earlier. They were so hospitable. I couldn’t find any excuse to leave.” He apologized.

“I understand. That’s typical here. They feel they need to entertain you this way.” I replied.

We arrived in his room. He ordered some tea. After tea, he looked more refreshed. We took turn to have shower. I held him naked on the bed. All the waiting was worthwhile.

* * *

The next time he came to Taipei was a few months later. This time I met him on a Saturday evening. Earlier that day, I had a trip to Kaohsiung, a major city in Southern Taiwan. I thought of lying to my parents that I would stay in Kaohsiung for one night. I wondered whether I could spend a night with Eric. As I was not sure whether that would happen, I didn’t say a word to my parents.

That night, after having sex, he seemed to be in a good mood. He said:

“You were wild tonight.” He used finger to touch my nose.

I smiled. 

“Please stay with me tonight.” He continued.

I was so delighted that he asked. We never spent a night together.

“I would love to but I couldn’t. I never stayed overnight outside. I don’t want my parents to know that I sleep with someone.” I offered my reasoning.

“Be a good boy. Pretend nothing happening...”

He invited me to go to Hong Kong to visit him. I said I would. Before I finally visited Hong Kong, we met once or twice more.

*          *          *

One day I got a call from him.

“Robert, I’ll have some work in Taipei next week. This time, I would like to arrive on Friday so that I could spend the weekend with you.”

“Sure, let me know your flight information, and I will go to the airport to pick you up.”

It’s something I had been waiting. I had been longing for spending a weekend with him. I had my own apartment now so that I could spend nights with the men I encountered without having to go back to my parents’ home.

A few days later, I got another call from him.

“Robert, I won’t be there until Sunday night. I am tied up with a few things here. I could only get there late Sunday afternoon.”

“That will be fine. Just let me know when you have your flight booking done.” Although I was disappointed, I believed that I did not show it on my voice.

On the coming Sunday, I prepared the dinner stuff. I would like him to see my place and I would like to cook a dinner for him. I also put a suit in the trunk of my car. He had invited me to stay overnight with him in the hotel. I could go to the office directly on Monday.

I drove to the airport to meet him. As I pulled into the arrivals terminal, I saw him immediately.

We shook hands, hoping that we would be seen as business associates. Then we got into the car, heading for my home. 

“Have you been waiting for long?” I asked.

“No, just about five minutes.”

I told him my plan - having the dinner in my place, then go to his hotel.

While cooking, I asked if he would like to have a shower. He pleasantly agreed. I said I would give him a shower later.

Not long after, I heard him calling me. Apparently he finished the shower. I rushed to find a clean towel then I knocked the door and entered. He stood naked outside the tub. Looking at him and his hairy body made me very sexually vulnerable. I couldn’t help myself touching his hairy chest, after a long period of hoping for this moment.

I said: “I couldn’t wait any longer.” 

He gave me a look seducing me to go to bed now. 

“Let me turn off the stove.”

Before long, we were naked in my bed. We caressed each other tightly. We both were very aroused. I was so attracted to him. He was possibly my first love. Love-making with him made me forget about endless loneliness in Taipei. That was an era without Internet. Those brief encounters were my moment of sexual reality. With him, it was more than just a brief encounter. We had met a few times. We got to know each other, emotionally and physically. Every time when his manhood hit the heart of my bottom - my perineum, I felt his love. He always called me “Robert Baby” during love-making. That further solidified my feeling of love for him.

After the sexual storm was over, we rested a little while. He fell asleep. I looked at him, my arm touching his, feeling that we were connected, physically and mentally. I didn’t do anything else, just admiring him.

Later that evening on the way to the hotel, He said:

“Robert, I have a few things to do tonight before the work starts tomorrow. Maybe you just drop me off at the hotel. I will give you a call if I have time to see you before leaving.”

I was disappointed but I did not try to turn his decision around. I could sense his determination to stay alone tonight. “I shouldn’t have had sex with him earlier. Now I ruined my opportunity to stay overnight with him.” An inner voice surfaced.

I didn’t get a call from him before he left.

*          *          *

Visiting Hong Kong was a little out of blue. My company asked me to go to Hong Kong to do some research. I was very excited. I could be there for about ten days. He had expressed his interest in seeing me if one day I would visit Hong Kong.

I called him immediately.

--- To be continued---

A Story without an End - Part 1

I sat in the men’s rest area of the health club on a Saturday afternoon. I have been spending most my Saturday afternoons here more than one year since my first encounter with that Dutch man about a year ago.

There seemed to be more competition these days than before. More local gays came to look for some fun here. But it was quiet now.  I talked with local straight people from time to time but seldom did so with the gays. I did not want them to know too much about me. By this time, I seemed to know pretty well who was and who was not by looking at their eyes and their “sauna behaviors.”

I was reading a newspaper after my nap. The door to the gym opened. There came in a Caucasian, quite tall, around 6’2”, good looking, early 40’s. 

In the next hour and a half, we chatted from time to time in the sauna and in the steam room. Although I would have liked to become intimate with him, I did not dare to initiate any exploration as he did not seem to be one of “us.”

He took a nap and I continued my reading. He looked so handsome, not Hollywood style, but a very reliable husband type, decent looking, weight height proportionate, well spoken, and intelligent.

Originally from California, he was a financial controller with a big multinational company stationed in Hong Kong.

It was about 4:30. I went inside the sauna to have another few rounds before heading home. The sauna was not too hot due to not being used for some time. I sat comfortably inside waiting for the temperature to rise. Not long after, the American guy joined me.

“Was the nap good?” I asked.

“It’s what I needed. It’s been crazy in the past few days. Meetings after meetings, and endless dinners.”

We chatted for another while. Then he stepped out to take a shower. He opened the door, nodded at me and said:

“I’m heading off, maybe see you one of these days.”

“That will be good. Maybe we can have a drink together some time,” I replied.

He asked, “Do you have time now? Why don’t we have a drink in the bar?”

“That sounds good. I can meet with you in the bar in ten minutes.”

I always cherished the opportunities chatting with foreign hotel guests, many of them were from U.S. or Europe. It was a window to the Western world, to practice my English, and deep inside my heart, I liked Caucasians’ looks, body shape, hairy chest, and their civilized manners. And the hotel guests tended to be business travelers, already in a more “elite” league.

We sat in the hotel bar, each having a beer. Our conversation mainly was about business. At one point, I started to probe more personal questions.

“Are you married?” I asked.

“No. Never married.”

“How do you find the opportunity to have sex?” The question was not smooth but it came out. I didn’t know what I was thinking. Did I have a fantasy that he might “be?”

“I find free things here and there. You know...” He shrugged his shoulders.

As I did not know how to continue this conversation, I changed the subject to something else.

We chatted for about an hour or so. We both seemed to enjoy our conversation and the instant bond. Some time passed and I felt I needed to go. 

“I might have to go now. I promised my mom that I would go back to have dinner with them. Otherwise I would like to have dinner with you.” 

“Sure, no problem.”

“If you are still here next weekend, maybe I can show you the Northeast Coast. It’s a scenic drive.”

“I am likely to be here next weekend but I am not sure about my schedule. Give me a call before that and let’s see. If you come to the gym in the coming days, call me to see if I am around.”

“I will.”

On the following Monday, I went to the gym after work. About 8:30 I left the gym. Suddenly I had an urge to call him. I wanted to see him again.

I used the house phone to call him. He answered delightfully and invited me to go up to his room.

He was still having his supper. He was casually dressed, with a shirt and sports pants.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“Water will be fine.”

He handed me over a bottle of water from the mini bar. 

We chatted about various things while he was having his dinner. It didn’t take long for him to finish the dinner. It seemed a light meal.

We talked about local bars and I suggested to take him to have a tour. He accepted my offer.

“Let me change my clothes,” he said. He stood up and walked toward his bed. His side facing me, he took off his pants.

What a pleasant shock! He didn’t wear underpants inside. His lower half was naked. Nice-toned legs with a very intriguing manhood. I had an urge to hold him, but I did not dare to make that move. I didn’t know whether he was gay or not and I did not want to spoil the friendship. To certain degree, his being able to be naked in front of me outside the sauna made me feel special. He didn’t seem to mind showing me his most private part and I felt a sense of closeness to him. Seeing him naked in his room was different from seeing him naked in the sauna. For the latter, it was natural, but for the former, it’s sort of “intimate.” 

After he put something casual on, we headed out. I showed him the neighborhood of the once-famous bar street - Shuang-Cheng Street. The U.S. Military Assistance Advisory Group was stationed in this area between 1951 and 1978 to protect Taiwan after the Kuo Ming Tang retreated from Mainland China. The bars were once “the place” for bar goers. After the American soliders left, gradually the bars were not as popular as they used to be, but there were still many businessmen around as well as local guys who liked the particular atmosphere of these bars.

We had beer, chatting over various things. I felt comfortable with him, never having any problem continuing our conversation. 

An hour later, I drove him back to the hotel. I stopped in front of the main entrance.

I said, “I will contact you Friday or Saturday to see what your schedule looks like. If you have time, I would like to show you the Northeast Coast.”

“Sure, I’d like that.”

He stepped out. I sat in the car waving good-bye to him.

*   *   *   *   *

Friday night I called him. He was not in the room. I left a message for him that I would call again next day. I only left my name but I did not give my home phone number to him. I lived with my parents and preferred that my parents did not know what was going on in my life. 

Through the daytime of the Saturday I called a few times, but still couldn’t reach him. He seemed to be tied up with his work. That night I finally reached him. He would be able to go out with me on Sunday. I was excited. I couldn’t figure out why I was so excited. Maybe it’s a sense of romance, but it’s far from the reality. I even didn’t know whether he was gay or not. However, sex did not seem to come into my mind, all I thought was that I would have a day with him.

Next morning I picked him up at the hotel and we headed for Yangminshan (YangMing Mountain) National Park (www.ymsnp.gov.tw). It’s about an hour drive from Taipei. The mountain was famous for its hot springs and scenic views. It’s perfect for a one-day trip.

We stopped from time to time to take a scenic view, and sometimes stopped to buy some soft drinks and eat something. We did not have a real lunch, but just had corn and baked sweet potatoes as lunch.

Then we arrived in a hot spring bath/restaurant (Sun Moon Ranch, translated). I always liked soaking myself in the hot springs, especially the outdoor ones. Somehow I felt I was melting into the nature when I was naked in the nature. The temperature was a little cool that day so it was perfect for a hot spring bath.

There were some people in the bath area but it did not take too long for us to get our private room. I had asked whether he would like the public pool or a private room. He preferred a private room. 

Each room was like a partition in the outdoor. The walls were made of wood and there was no ceiling. 

Bringing him here was to show him an important part of our culture, our lifestyle. After stripping off the last piece of our clothes, we sat in the bath adjusting ourselves to the water temperature. The bath was make of stones and concrete. It could accommodate about four to five people comfortably, but there were only two of us. 

It’s good to see him naked again. He was everything I wanted. But for now, I had to swallow that fantasy. I usually prefer the public bath as it felt closer to the nature and the space was bigger, but now I was pleased that we had our own space. 

Within a few minutes, we started to sweat. We used the towel to wipe out the sweat on the face, but it did not help too much. We decided to have a “cold shower.” We just took turns to pour cold water onto each other. The water felt ice-cold but it was great. 

As he was pouring cold water down to my head when I kneed, I saw his manhood just about a foot from my eyes. I closed my eyes when the water came down. I couldn’t help open my eyes again to see that perfect manhood when the water was gone. I felt tempted but I did not dare to ruin this friendship. I trembled, not knowing whether it’s due to the cold water or being so close to my dream. At one point I had to hold his thigh to steady myself. 

We laughed when we saw each other being “tortured” by the cold water. 

We did a few rounds of soaking in the hot spring and cold shower. Then we side by side sat on the edge of the bath. We did not feel cold at all even we were naked. I found my left hand was next to his thigh. Touching his thigh seemed so natural, feeling like we were born to each other. 

I told him it was a good time to have a massage as our body was warm. I just gave him a massage on his shoulders and upper back. It was not easy to do more. Then I asked him to do the same for me. After giving me a massage on shoulders, I thanked him. He continued touching my upper back gently. I couldn’t tell it was massage or foreplay, but felt somewhat strange the way he touched me. My hand was on his thigh but neither of us made a move. 

We probably stayed in the room for forty-five minutes. When we came out from the room, I noticed there were more people waiting outside than when we came in. A woman seemed shocked when seeing both of us coming out. I didn’t know whether it’s because we were two men or because he was a foreigner. 

After the hot spring bath, I felt good and he seemed so too. We continued our tour along the northeast coast. The ocean views and the rock formation were all spectacular. 

Before dusk, we arrived in BaLi, where we had dinner along the river. It was a precious day to be with someone I liked, especially someone I had a romantic fantasy. I didn’t know whether he was gay or not, but I liked him a lot, and I felt I could be myself with him. We did not touch on any subjects personal during the rest of the trip. 

When we finished dinner, the sky was completely dark. The street lights and the river-side restaurants made the dark sky romantically bright.

On the way back to Taipei, I asked what he planned to do afterwards. He said he would like to to go Zhong Hua Shopping Malls to buy some stamps for a friend of his who collected stamps. I said I could take him there.

When approaching the hotel, I felt I would need to use a washroom. We went to his room. After using the washroom, I stepped out the bathroom and saw him watching a TV program. He didn’t seem prepared to go. He sat comfortably on one chair. I sat on the empty one. We exchanged a few words while watching the TV. 

I felt a sexual urge for him again. Not knowing how to approach him, I asked:

“Would you like to go to have a massage?”

--- To Be Continued ---

Where the Journey Began

As usual, I headed for the gym after work. It’s only about a 7-minute walk from the office to the gym. I bought some deep fried green onion pancake and ate along the way. It’s usually late after I finished the gym. So I always had something to eat before working out. 

It’s been two months since I joined the gym. I had never tried to work out previously prior to coming to this gym. I joined because a friend of mine tried to find a gym buddy so he asked me if I could join him. He quit after two weeks but I continued. I liked the idea of coming here after work because I could stay away from the traffic jam. Taipei looked like a parking lot during the rush hours as the subway system was been built. Besides I would like to stay outside a little longer so that I wouldn’t have to stay home long. I still lived with my parents at that time. The quiet rest area of the gym was also a nice treat after a long day. The gym is part of the health club of a hotel. With a lot of foreign guests, it felt “international.” Perhaps it was a hint of some kind but I did not realized it until later.

In the gym, I warmed up by twisting and stretching my body. Then I started walking on the treadmill for a few minutes followed by running, 20 minutes in total. I also did some weightlifting but I was not big on that. Just tried to maintain my muscle texture but not thinking of becoming a small Arnold. 

There came the aerobic dance class. Usually about eight to ten women. Very occasionally there was a man in the group. The music was loud and the leader was enthusiastic. I found it too noisy so I usually went into the rest area to read newspapers. 

It was not a busy evening. I was the only one in the rest area. Someone being there earlier had left. I felt I was sitting in my own private living room. I only wore a towel on my waist and covered my upper half with another towel as the air-conditioner was a little too strong. I felt relaxed. 

After reading the newspapers, I took a nap on one of the three benches. I felt great after waking up. I stepped into the steam room. As I was fighting with the heat, my mind became clear, actually not thinking at all. Usually I did three rounds, having cold showers in between. Then I rested for a while, watching TV or reading newspapers. 

After taking a cold shower, I went inside the steam room again. There sat a chubby guy. I therefore had to sit on the other corner where usually I would like to avoid as it was hotter in that corner. I sat and extended my feet to the other side of the bench so that the steam would not attack me directly. The steam stopped coming out. It was quiet and I very much enjoyed that moment. Sometimes I could not stand the heat and had to run outside the steam room but this time I survived. 

I enjoyed the quietness for a while. Then my right foot withdrew suddenly by itself. I did not pay attention to what might cause it. Then it happend again. I checked my foot and did not see anything wrong. “Just relax,” I told myself. Within a minute, it happened again. I suddenly realized that it was my natural reflex that was withdrawing my foot because the other man touched my toe with his. I took my feet back a little to allow him to have some room. After another minute or two, I felt that his toe touched my foot again lightly. Shockingly I knew what was going on. Since the steam had stopped coming out, I put my feet back to the floor.  My heart was pumping while sitting there. I came out to take a cold shower. 

I did not leave the sauna/steam room area after the shower. Instead I went into that steam room. This time I kept some distance from him. We both came out to take cold showers a few times, sometimes together sometimes separately, but each time we went back to the steam room.

What was I thinking? I probably did not have a clue but I knew I would like to go back. Was it simply my curiosity to see what might be happening, or was there something else in my mind?

Usually it’s not so quiet in the sauna/steam room, at least there might be some other hotel guests or local members like myself, but it was strange enough - that night there were only two of us. 

I stepped inside the steam room again. I forgot how many times I had already entered that room that night. The guy didn’t seem to give up either. The guy was still taking his shower. I lay down on the upper bench.  Then he came in.

He sat on the lower bench, his back was so close to my face. I could feel the heat from his body. Or was it the heat from the steam? I was totally confused, not knowing what might be happening, whether I wanted something to happen or not. He turned his body to the right. Now we were in the same direction. I was lying on the upper bench and he was sitting in the lower one. My breath became more intense.

The guy suddenly grabbed my soft penis and broke the silence: 

“Are you waiting for me?” 

I was shocked.  He took back his hand.

“I don’t know.”

“I see your body trembling and your breath intense. So I guess you are...”

With a deep inhalation, I replied: “I don’t know. I haven’t done anything like this before.”

He turned his back against my shoulder. We did not exchange words for a few seconds but it felt like a few minutes. I was puzzled what to do next but my curiosity remained. Whenever his back touched my shoulder, I felt like lightning going through my body. 

“Would you like to have a drink together to discuss this a little more?” I asked. I did not have an idea why I had become the hunter between us.

“Where?”

“To your room?”

He was silent for a moment, then said: “How about the coffee shop next to the lobby?”

We left the gym five minutes apart on purpose. When I arrived the coffee shop, he was already there. We ordered our drinks.

“Are you here for business?”

“Yes, only here for three days and tonight it’s my last night.”

“What a coincidence! I usually come here two to three times a week.”

“After a series of long meetings in the past three days, finally I got some time to relax this evening.”

“Have you done this before?”

“Yes, but very occasionally. I am married.”

“Does your wife know?”

“No.”

“Where are you from?”

“The Netherlands.”

“I like tulips.”

“When did you know that you are interested in this kind of thing?” asked he.

“Tonight,” I replied.

He looked puzzled.

“You have never thought of this before?”

“No. That’s why I was very frightened in the beginning. I am still nervous now. I even haven’t had any sexual experience with a woman.”

We chatted over various subjects, including our jobs. I mentioned I loved European cars. He told me that he had driven five Peugeot 205.

“Would you like me to go to your room later?” I asked.

He seemed a little reluctant. I did not know whether it’s because he did not want a stranger to enter his room or he was also confused about all this. My mind was not totally clear but I felt some sort of urge to pursue it although I did not know what I was really chasing after.

I said, “Maybe we can start from giving massage to each other. I am good at that.”

He smilingly nodded his head. 

“I do it often for my father,” I continued. I guessed I was eager to convince him to accept my proposal.

No word coming out from him but he looked intrigued about the idea.

“If you don’t like it, we could just end it there.”

I could not believe how skillful I was in handling an awkward situation like this. I might be a good salesman. He was hesitant for a few seconds, then said: “OK.”

We left the coffee shop separately. In five minutes, I was in his room. We sat in the chairs next to the window and chatted a little more. Apparently we both were a little nervous about what might be happening.

I had a deep breath and said: “Shall we start?” 

He nodded and started to take off his shirt. 

I asked him to lie facing down. We both had our briefs on as though they were our last frontier to an invading enemy or something we were afraid that might happen to us. He was relatively big but I tried my best to give him a nice massage. It was very professional-like. I didn’t try to touch areas that I shouldn’t. 

I concentrated on giving him massage to avoid thinking what might be coming next. He was laid back enjoying my massage. Twenty minutes later, we exchanged the positions.

He started massaging my back. He was not bad. I enjoyed his massage too, very relaxing. He then rubbed my butt, and suddenly he lowered my briefs and took it away. My naked butt was exposed. Now I could relate to a virgin facing her first night.

Totally NAKED, I was still facing down and was not able to see him but I knew I was trembling. His hands moved between my butt and back. Then he lay on my back. His erected manhood rubbed my butt through his briefs. Although I seemed to know this would happen along the night, I was not ready for this moment. 

He turned me around and took off his briefs. His manhood was rubbing my ab while I was frightening inside my mind. 

“Am I HOMOSEXUAL?” A question suddenly popped in my head.

Those male teachers, news anchormen, and men in the straight porn videos came to my mind as well as Rock Hudson. Those dots now seemed to be connected. Now the answer was clear why I hadn’t had a real girlfriend, seriously dated some women, or even why at age of near thirty I hadn’t had sex with any women. 

I did not really enjoy the body contact with this guy as I was so frightened about the whole situation. 

His breath became heavier and heavier. I did not feel myself aroused but I felt I wanted to cum. The contradiction of the thought of engaging into homosexual activity and the desire to explore what it could be made me frightened and excited at the same time.

We almost came around the same time. It did not take long for me to cum. He came without much of my help. Basically he just rubbed his manhood against my body. 

After the climax, I did not feel great. I did not know how to handle the situation that I had engaged homosexual activities. I still remembered that in the school, friends and I talked about “those people.” However, I never spoke anything negative about them, but just my curiosity why they wanted to have sex with men. At that time, I heard of “homosexual” and “gay” from time to time but never felt anything at all about those words. A friend of mine had mentioned a classmate was gay but that hearsay did not strike me at all on any level. I even had not heard of the word “lesbian.”

After going home, I went into my room very quickly trying to avoid any conversation with my parents. I wanted to be alone for a while to sort out what had happened.

I was puzzled for the rest of the evening. Then I went to bed to try to get some sleep. Strange enough, I had a sexual urge again. My desire was very strong. The images of sexual contacts with that man dominated my mind as I masturbated. I was regretful that I did not taste his manhood.

In the days that followed my work routine continued smoothly, but my mind was troubled. I did not go back to the gym at all for a whole week. I was afraid to revisit the hotel, the sauna, and the steam room, because I did not want to think about what had happened. 

One week after, I felt I was back to normal.“It’s just an incident,” I thought. I got back to the gym and started using the sauna/steam room as usual. 

Another week passed. On a Saturday afternoon, I left the office around noon. Having a Cantonese noodle and some dumplings for lunch before arriving at the gym. There I met a longtime friend who had just joined the club a few days ago.

I did some usual exercises then sat in the rest area reading newspapers. People came and went while I enjoyed my quiet Saturday afternoon. My friend slept on one of the benches most of the time. I was in and out the sauna/steam room a few times and I could not help noticing a Caucasian guy. I knew I was tempted to do something but there were always other people around. He seemed to notice me too. 

Around 4:30, I noticed that Caucasian guy started putting his clothes to prepare to leave. Without much thoughts, I did the same. We looked at each other from time to time. There were other people around. I did not say a word. Neither did he.

He left the men’s area. I followed. I then saw him walk outside the health club entrance. So did I, 10 meters apart. I arrived the waiting area for the hotel elevators. The “Up” button was on, I pressed the “Down” button. 

There were only two of us. He looked at me, saying: “Would you like to come up to my room for some tea?”

I replied: “OK.” 

Things happend so naturally and I did not feel anything bad about my action. I was excited. 

This time I tasted his manhood. 

When I was about to leave. The British guy offered me NT$500.  With a smile and a hand gesture, I declined. 

“Who do you think I am,” I thought, but I did not feel insultedt. It’s kind of funny that I was thought as a money boy.

He continued, “Having some tea with your friend.”

“No, thank you.”

It’s not a bad experience at all, sex or whatever.

Walking out of his room, I was cheerful. My body was relaxed and the sexual urge was fulfilled. A new chapter of my life had begun. It was a direction of no return and a prey had become a hunter.